


A Collection of Raph & Zoe One Shots

by Mysteryred



Series: Zoe [3]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5251010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysteryred/pseuds/Mysteryred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of one shots that lead you up to part III. I refer to events in these one shots throughout the remainder of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Superhero

Superheroes

When you've been fighting for it all your life

You've been struggling to make things right

That's how a superhero learns to fly

She's got a lions in her heart, a fire in his soul

He's got a beast in his belly, but it's so hard to control

Cause they've taken too much hits, take it blow by blow

Now light a match, stand back, watch them explode

~The Script~

The second the lock flipped they threw down their toys, sprinting for the front door. And when it opened, Leonardo and Michelangelo slipped in with smiles on their faces. The disappointment in my children's eyes was undeniable, but they covered it well. Andrea threw her thin arms around Mikey's neck and he scooped her up, spinning her around.

"God, I'll never get tired of coming home to this." His eyes closed as he squeezed her.

"Unca Mikey, that hurts," she squeaked.

Mike's eyes flew open, his mouth parting in a horrified "O".

"Sorry Drea'!" He loosened his grip then held her out to get a better look at her, "Did I hurt ya bad?"

Her blue eyes flashed, and her thin pink lips curled, revealing her tiny teeth, "Grrrr, no way, I'm a big girl!"

He laughed, "You sure are! Wanna play?"

Andrea's faint eyebrows raised, her long cinnamon colored eyelashes batting at him, "Yeah!'

Mikey shifted my daughter to his side before reaching out an arm, pulling me in for a hug. "He's fine, Leo will explain," he whispered, then pecked my cheek and bounced off like a big kid, a twenty eight year old big kid, with my two year old in tow.

My attention shifted to a pouting Antonello, with a patient Leonardo trying to sooth his nephew's obvious disappointment.

Anton's arms were wrapped across his plastron, imitating his uncle's usual posture. Only Leo was kneeling down, eye to eye with my scowling son.

"Where's Daddy?"

"He'll be here shortly Anton. He wants to be here with you right now, trust me, there's no place else he'd rather be." Leo reached out to touch Anton's beautiful emerald shoulder, but my son was like his father and would not be pacified.

He swiped his uncle's hand off and snarled, his familiar green eyes flashing, "Then why isn't he here?"

Leo blinked, but maintained his cool composure, for he understood this child and had a lifetime of experience with how to handle the storm brewing within him. "It's okay to be upset Anton. I understand. He's not far behind me. What do you say we practice a little before he gets here? Then you can show him what you've learned."

"Well I ain't medicatin," His eyes narrowed, his posture still defiant but clearly interested.

Leo laughed, "No, we won't meditate. Let's work on that kata some more, you've almost got it."

Anton's anger faded, "In the dojo?"

Leo's blue eyes flickered to me then back to Anton, "No, let's practice in the play room. Uncle Donnie's working on something in the dojo right now."

Right then I knew.

"Well if you guys are going to be busy, I'll just take Uncle Donnie a snack." I bent over, planting a kiss on Anton's cheek.

His face scrunched up, " _Mom_."

"Don't act so grown Antonello, you're only four." I sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear and murmured, "Even if you act like your ten."

Leo and I exchanged knowing looks and I made my way to the kitchen and out the back door. As I stepped out into the darkness of an early spring night, my heart ached. Everything was new again, trees were pushing bud, and daffodils were blooming. To a typical family this was a refreshing time of year. For us, it was a moody season, especially for my intense and broody mate.

It didn't help that I wasn't able to go on this particular bi-weekly trip to the city. We'd taken to making regular visits, staying at the Lair, and thwarting some crime while there. It was an effort to keep our enemies at bay. If they ever found our home in the country, we'd be in a terrible predicament. So we tried to keep the fight there. But the past few visits, Anton had thrown a fit when it was time for us to go. He wanted Raphael to stay, but he settled for me. This trip was held over an extra day, with no explanation, but I had my suspicions.

As I caught sight of Donatello pacing outside the barn/dojo entrance, I knew what was going on.

"How bad?" I asked, peering into my purple clad brothers amber colored eyes.

His lip trembled, "Well, listen." He leaned the side of his head against the door, but he didn't need to.

I could hear the pummeling of punching bags, paired with some really nasty language.

Biting my lip, I shot Donnie a sideways glance, "Okay, do you want to tell me what happened or should I just get it out of him?"

"It'd be great if you go first. He's not hurt that bad, but there's no getting near him right now."

I nodded, "You know Donnie, if it's not that bad, I'll just take care of it. If we need you, I'll come get you. Okay?"

He seemed to deflate with relief.

"Thanks Zoe."

He lingered and fidgeted, his hands opening and closing at his sides.

"Donnie?"

"Yyyeah Zoe?" Donatello's eyes were compassionate, grateful, and darting all over my face. I found myself pulling him into a hug, which he eagerly returned.

"I know I tell you this all the time-" I began.

He laughed his nerdy, heartwarming laugh, "I never get tired of hearing it."

"You are a wonderful brother."

Donnie's lean muscled arms squeezed me, then he nervously let go and made his way toward the backdoor of the house, looking over his shoulder twice to see if I was sure.

I turned my attention back to the crashing and pounding mixture coming from inside the dojo. Resting my hand against the door I took a deep breath and wrapped my fingers around the handle.

As I stepped inside, I had to duck as a barbell flew over my head. Raph's face went from furious to fearful as the weights smashed into the door behind me, sending chunks of wood splintering the air. He closed the space between us in seconds, snatching me up and looking me over.

"Are you hurt?"

Above his right eye was a gash that bled through his mask. It was swollen and bruised, like his cheek. _Oh, Raph._ His beautiful green eyes darted over me, then narrowed as he lowered me to my feet and looked away.

"Want to talk about it?" _It was a stupid question. Of course he didn't._

And now I have his battered shell in my face.

His shoulders were slumped, I could tell by the way his shell loomed up over his neck. His hands were balled into bloody fists and he trembled with what I sensed was both rage, and regret.

"Raph."

He shook his head.

I licked my lips and glanced around the dojo. He'd ransacked the place. Three of our four bags were leaking out a steady stream of sawdust. One was pierced with his sai. _Countless times we'd already replaced them, and it was always him that busted them._ Weights had been flung across the space and had crashed into dummies. A couple had smashed into my target practice bales. _No harm done there._ But now the dojo door had a broken panel with night air seeping in.

"Raph."

Knowing better than to do a whole lot beyond dance around him right now, I remained very still. Long moments passed and his trembling diminished but he still wouldn't face me. It was fine, I could wait, and he knew I would.

Finally he made a grumbling, growling sound.

 _That's progress._ I sat on the floor mat behind him. _Come on Big Guy, work it out. I'm right here._

"How am I going to explain this to our son?"

I sighed. Not the sound he wanted to hear, but trying to weave our violent lives among the innocence of a very special child was a daunting task. We didn't want Anton scarred. Andrea still accepted "Daddy has a boo boo," and left it at that. Antonello, already struggled with his differences. His sister was pink and human-ish and he was green and shelled. Pairing that with the wounds Raph would try to hide, and on occasion myself or his uncles, and we had a confused little boy, with a heart every bit as vast and precious as his fathers.

"Raph, tell him you had an accident, and that your fine."

He whirled on me snarling, "I'm tired of lying to him Zoe." His frustration built and he began pacing around me.

"That's not a lie."

He snorted, "Well the thing that hit me didn't do it on accident."

I shot him a suspicious look, "What thing?"

Another growl was his only reply.

"Raph, let me clean it up."

This time I was greeted with a hiss, followed by a string of curses, not at me, but at whatever he was really struggling with. He reeled on the bag, retrieving his sai only to stab it again and again. His rage grew, like a tidal wave at its peak, fists laid into the bag, blood splattering the canvas.

His pain, because that's what this really was, hurt me. I'd do anything to soothe him of it and usually I could. Maybe even now, if he'd just let it out.

"Raphael, I know you can hear me. Now stop." My voice was calm, quiet and effective.

He leaned on the bag, half hanging on it and his shoulders shook.

_Shit._

I was on my feet and to his side, wrapping my pink fingers around his thick green digits. He allowed me to pull him away from the bag, but he kept his face turned away. I could see his eyes were clamped shut. I lead him to the straw bales so I could stand on one and reach him better. As I looked over the flat nose, wide mouth, and the split eye ridge crusted with blood, I felt the ache in my heart rise up to my throat then slip by and slam into the backs of my eyes. _Fuck._ I stroked his bruised cheek, "Talk to me."

His breath hitched and one traitorous tear escaped him. Placing my hands on the back of his head I pulled him to me and kissed it away. "Come on Big Guy, you can tell me anything."

"It's always going to be something Zoe." His eyes opened and watery green rivers peered into my soul.

While my heart reached for him, and I suffered with him, I felt the familiar edge of steel, that barrier we kept up for others but down only with each other, ready to go up. But not on him, no, it was always there, ready, in case I needed it to protect one or both of us. "That's who we are Raphael."

His jaw flexed and his eyes narrowed, "I'm sick of it."

I laughed and he shot me an incredulous look.

"Oh, I'm not laughing at you, it's just," I bit my lip, "You'll never quit the fight Raphael. For the same reason you are always first in and worst hurt."

"What's that?" He frowned.

My fingers cradled his cheek then I reached around and untied his mask, slipping it off and placing it in his hand. "You should ask Anton who you are, if you don't already know Raphael." I struggled with the lump in my throat and the tears stinging my eyes. "Now, promise me you'll ask him."

"I'm his Dad, Zoe. That's what he's going to say." He shook his head.

"Well, humor me." I smiled at him, quickly swiping away a frustrating stray tear of my own, "Now, let's get you cleaned up."

His massive hand cupped my cheek, his thumb wiping away the watery drop I thought I'd hid. As his mouth pressed against mine I held onto him. We lived our lives day by day, one battle at a time. Every warrior got tired and Raphael was no exception.

As he released me his true thoughts finally worked their way out. "I don't want this life for him."

Fire teemed within me. _Whenever you are tired Love, I will fight for you._

"That is why we fight Raphael. We accept who we are, and we know that we have to sometimes. It's gotten better. Now that's enough of this. Let's clean you up and go see that little boy who's expecting you."

He grinned a little, as I shared my energy with him, "And Andrea. Don't forget the girl Z."

I rolled my eyes, "and Andrea. Like I could ever forget the girl who has you wrapped around her finger."

He pulled me to him, pressing his lips against my ear, "I thought that was you."

My heart slammed against my breast as I reluctantly pushed him back, "Sit." I pointed to the hay bale, fetched the first aid kit and went to work on his eye.

Ten minutes later we slipped in the backdoor hovering near the play room, watching Anton and Andrea playing with Mike and Leo on the floor, with Avengers figures. As Raph stepped into the doorway they abandoned their toys and wrapped themselves around his thick green calves. He laughed and scooped them up.

Andrea's fingers prodded Raph's wound but he didn't flinch. "Daddy got a boo-boo. You need a Band-Aid."

"It's nothin'." He shrugged.

Anton studied his dad's wound intently, but his relief surpassed his worries and a crooked grin soon spread across his face, "You want to play with us Daddy?"

"Sure, what're we playin?" He lowered them down and both Mike and Leo scooted over to make room for their brother.

"Good Guys and Bad Guys!" Anton answered, picking up Captain America and his best friend Bucky.

"Is Bucky really a bad guy?" I asked from the door.

Raph's eyes narrowed.

Mikey smiled and Leo flashed me a knowing smirk.

Anton gazed at the dark little figure thoughtfully, "Not really, it's complicated."

I bit my lip. _Such big words and deep thoughts for a little guy._

Raph's lips curved up and my heart melted.

"Antonello," I called my son by his full name, and he looked up at me with wide, innocent green eyes.

"Yes, Mommy?"

"Who's your favorite superhero?"

Anton laughed, threw Bucky on the floor and flung himself on his father, "Daddy!"

Raphael looked at me, as if finally understanding.

 _"_ Yeah, he's mine too. _"_


	2. Glitter

**Zoe**

"WHAT IS THIS PINK CRAP ALL OVER THE FLOOR?!"

Raphael's voice reaches me all the way from our bedroom, to my spot downstairs on the couch. I smile at Michelangelo and shove another buttery kernel into my mouth.

Mikey snickers and we both look toward the stairs where Raph is stomping his way down.

"Zoe! What is this stuff?" he yells again.

"Mommy, it's pretty!" Drea' squeals from her spot perched on Raph's shoulders, her hands opening and closing, covered in red and pink sparkles. She smacks Raph's head, rubbing her palms over the top of his mask.

"It's stuck to my feet! _Zoe,_ it's _on_ my sai!" Raph stops in front of me, lowers Drea' to the ground and points to his feet, then pulls out a shimmering red glittered sai. "Zoe!"

"What is the problem Raphael?"

I'm trying like hell to keep a straight face, because the glitter isn't just on his feet, and weapon. Since he put a sparkly Andrea on his shoulders it was now all over his mask, catching the light like little crystals. His eyes conveyed what he felt to be a serious situation, yet I was determined to keep my cool.

"This pink shit is all over everything, it's stuck to everything! It's on my feet, my legs, my knees pads, it's _on my sai_ Zoe. My _sai_! How'd that even happen?"

"You said it was on your sai already, Big Guy." I sniff and take a breath then raise my eyebrows and wait for him to speak.

He clenches his teeth, "It's my weapon Zoe. I don't want sparkly shit on my weapon. How would that look in a fight, huh?"

Sighing, I look at him skeptically, "Are you rushing off to a battle I don't know about?"

He snarls and I smile, as he places his sai back in its hold, failing to notice the little metallic colored bits have attached to his fingers. He rubs his hand across his plastron, shifting his weight and effectively spreading them around further.

I blink at him, leaning over the arm of the couch with one hand propping up my chin. "Raph, you have a daughter." I remind him casually.

He glares at me. "What the hell's that got to do wit it?"

"Girls like sparkly things Raph. Drea' wanted to be a princess. She, Anton and Mikey were making paper crowns and I let them use glitter."

"I hate glitter." He grumbles, crossing his arms over his plastron and clenching his teeth, red sparkles glistening on his bandana like a woman's hair catching the light. He shifted his weight and the slight movement reflected more red flecks on his massive biceps.

I had to run my hand over my face, struggling to keep from laughing at him.

Mikey cleared his throat, shifting next to me like an animal waiting to be released.

"She made a crown for you too," I say to Raphael's scowling face, lifting the sparkling red paper crown from the coffee table.

He crosses his arms, giving me a determined look and telling me, "I ain't wearing that."

Drea's chubby little hands open and close, "I do it Mommy, I do it, give me, give me!"

I bite my lip as I hand it to her and she marches up to Raph proudly, "Here Daddy, I make you hat."

Raph's jaw flexes and Mikey snorts, Raph shoots him a warning glance and Mike looks away, then back to him somehow managing to contain himself.

Drea's big blue eyes plead with her father, her long lashes batting innocently, as she tries to stand on her tiptoes to reach him. He shoots Mike an evil look, then lowers himself to talk to Andrea, "Drea', Daddy's already wearing a mask, are ya sure I need a hat too?"

She nods her head furiously, "I make it for you!"

Before Raph can protest any further she places it on his head and his eyes close as he lets out a protesting grunt. Right then Leo and Karai slip in the front door. Raph stands up with his arms across his plastron, glitter catching the light all over him, red paper crown sparkling atop his head, and gives them his meanest look.

"Whoa," Karai and Leo say at the same time and Raph growls.

"Daddy pretty!" Drea's exclaims, jumping up and down while pointing and giggling at her glowering father.

Karai and Leo snort, turning towards each other, desperate to keep from laughing.

Mikey's weight shifts and I know he's prepping to run, "Princess Raphie looks like a big green and red Christmas tree!"

"GRRRR, MIKEY!"


	3. Unexpected Turns

_**Colors of the Wind** _

_You think the only people who are people_

_Are the people who look and think like you_

_But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger_

_You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew_

_~Vanessa Williams~_

**Zoe**

Rays of sunlight peeked through the canopy of leaves casting a golden glow over my colorful family. The trees provided us with the perfect shade from the unusually hot day as we sauntered along in search of the perfect picnic spot, and a warm spring breeze caressed my skin as I enjoyed the wild snowdrops and violets scattered along the path.

"Drea' stay on the trail, close to Anton, okay?" I called to my daughter lazily, enjoying holding Raph's hand as the four of us made our way along the narrowing dirt trail, and not feeling like running after her.

Of course the little redhead ignored me, not looking back as she decided to run ahead, giggling, in hopes that we would chase her. Raph's grip on my hand tightened before he released it, only for him to find me grabbing it back. "We're in the middle of nowhere Raph. Where's she going to go, besides in the woods and she won't go far because the burrs will scratch her little legs or she'll trip over something."

He frowned, his mask bunching above his eyes, "I don't want her gettin' hurt and we don't know where this trail goes. We've never been this far."

Smiling, I called to our son, "Anton, can you catch your sister for us?"

My son's green eyes flashed, ready to rise to the challenge, and he snorted, not bothering to answer me, before he ran after the squealing little girl ahead of him.

"Hey, be careful not to knock her down!" I called after him.

But he ran past her, picking up speed of his own and Raphael growled beside me.

"What the hell is he doin'?"

Anton ran faster still, disappearing around a turn on the path.

"Raph, you get the girl, I'll get the boy." I pointed to Drea' as she neared the curve Antonello had disappeared around.

"Why do I get the girl?" He snapped.

"Because I said so, just go!"

"You're startin' to sound like Leo, Zoe." He complained, before we both broke into a jog to catch our straying children.

I rounded the bend and my heart nearly stopped, as my breath hung trapped in my throat, I managed a squeak.

The path ended abruptly, opening to a sprawling pasture, where my son was running with a curly golden haired little girl about his age. Unable to breathe, and stunned by the way they laughed and chased each other, I stood frozen. Heart racing, I quickly scanned the spaces surrounding them, looking for the adult that surely would not be far from the other child, but I neither saw nor sensed anyone. Far up the hill I could just make out a tiny shack of a farmhouse, nestled among a cluster of oak trees.

Raphael rounded the corner, with Drea' on his shoulders, and almost slammed into me.

"Zoe what're you doing? Get him!" a panicked Raph yelled before moving to go around me.

A lump rose in my throat as I flung out my hand across Raph's plastron, "Raphael, wait, just _look_ at him. Look."

The sound that came from within Raph hurt to hear as he watched our young, flawlessly skinned, emerald green turtle boy chase the dirty, but beautiful, blonde human child. Both children were laughing and stumbling, sprinting and falling. Anton even helped her up when she tripped over her tattered dress. The girl's big blue eyes showed no wariness for my son's differences. _Her heart is open and unbroken, unlike my sons will surely be by the end of this day._

Raph, swallowed a second sound, equally as painful on the ears, and one look at his face brought an ache to my chest. With his mouth set in a grim line and green eyes reminiscent of his own past, his heart was breaking for his son and I knew it. Suddenly he lowered Andrea from his shoulders, placing her in my arms, and in a voice I had seldom heard but knew not to question, he told me, "Take Drea' and head back home Zoe. Antonello and I will catch up."

The lump in my throat made a drastic leap, forcing a blur into my eyes, "Raph."

"Just go Zoe," Raph's voice cracked as he watched his son but spoke to me, "please."

Taking one last look at a laughing, and rarely seen, lighthearted Antonello, tagging the girl before she chased after him, I fixed his green eyes, bright with the light of day and all of the freedom and innocence a child possessed, in my memory, for when he came home, I knew they may never shine quite the same way again.

"I'll just take the girl up to that house on the hill. I wouldn't want her to follow us home. You go ahead with Anton. Drea' and I will see you at home." I said softly, taking a glance at Raph's face before stepping out into the field to approach the children.

Raph didn't say anything only watching Anton intently.

The girl noticed me, before Anton did, and at first sight of Andrea, her already brilliant eyes lit up as if sunlight was peeking from behind clouds. "Hi, my name is Ellie. What's your baby's name?"

Her little voice reminded me of a songbird chirping and I was instantly taken with her. _My poor, sweet Antonello._

"Hi, this is Drea' and my name is Zoe. Where do you live?"

As I made conversation with the sweet little hummingbird of a girl, Raphael snatched up Anton and disappeared with some of the finest ninja stealth ever pulled off in the wide open and light of day.

Ellie pointed a dirt covered finger toward the tiny farmhouse, before looking around for Antonello. "Hey where'd my friend go?"

Ignoring her question I pointed up the hill, "Come on, I'll walk you back up to your house and you can tell me about your family."

The child frowned, her eyes hopelessly searching for Anton as she spun around and walked haphazardly about. "He was here," her lip quivered and her eyes filled, further adding to the burden of my own internal struggle.

Swallowing the painful knot in my throat, that seemed unending and felt like a rock, I shrugged. "I'd love to meet your Mommy." I said taking my first steps up the hill.

"Okay," she replied, looking back one last time.

XXX

_**The Story of My Life** _

_Written on these walls are the colours that I can't change_

_Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage_

_~One Direction~_

**Raphael**

I don't know what I was thinking. Ever since I'd let Zoe in everything had just spiraled out of control from there, and for the longest time I've done nothing but keep moving forward with her. It's not that I had any desire to do anything else, but I've been turning a blind eye to all of the details along the way. I never dreamed she would've gotten pregnant and when she did, I was selfish enough to want the baby and when I asked her, she gave him to me, the way I knew she would.

But there is only one Antonello. One. And there were three more just like me. That's not much, but having my brothers sure made growing up a lot less lonely than what Anton felt, more and more every day.

_His suffering is my fault. I should've never-_

The damn lump in my throat was back, the ache in my plastron damn near knocking the air out of me. Watching Anton stomp along beside me, arms crossed, eyes flaring with anger that was geared towards me, didn't make what I had to say any easier, not one bit.

"Why'd you do that Dad?" He looked back at me, glaring.

"We're not far enough away from them to have this talk. Keep movin'."

We were plenty far enough away and I knew it, I just didn't have the words sorted out in my head yet.

I'd been floating along, loving my family, enjoying this light filled time of my life. _Damn, dark clouds, they ruin everything._ But with everyday he grew and I was that much closer to facing what I'd been worrying about since the day he was born… that there would come a day when he would have to fight, for his life. And here I am getting ready to explain just a part of that and he's only four.

However I put this to him could make a difference on the type of adult he would grow to be. I didn't want him bitter and shut off like I had been. Well, the Pre-Zoe version of me, the child me. Not that I didn't care about others as a kid, but I'd feared the inevitable rejection so damn much, I'd push everyone away so they couldn't hurt me. _I'm so sorry Antonello._ I grumble to myself and rub my face as I trudge along behind him. Anton was exactly the way I had been, only lonelier than I ever was on my worst day, and what better place for darkness to take root?

This was something that I needed to tell him. It was my job, since I was the moron who wanted his mother to bring him into this fucked up world. That and since I was the closest thing to being what he is. _But he's still one of a kind, because I was made and he was born._

"Anton, take a left at the crossing."

He did as I asked but not without continuing to intermittently stomp and drag his feet.

The trail ventured down by the river that ran all the way to our family's favorite swimming hole. Today however, I was just looking for a peaceful place to have a difficult conversation with my son. As the sounds of running water filled my ears I tried to organize my thoughts, to put them in words that were right for a four year old.

Sprouts of bright green grass, almost the color of Anton's skin, pushed through the ground, struggling to escape the cover of leaves that held them down. I felt the same way about humans, held down, less than, limited by. How ironic that humans held us back, and yet it was a human-hybrid that had taken me so far forward.

"There Antonello, let's sit on that rock," I pointed him to a large flat stone that jutted out over the river. Scooping up a handful of flat stones, I lowered myself to sit next to him and flung one across the water, watching it skip four times before sinking.

Usually Anton would be impressed. Today, he hung a foot over the side of the rock, kicking the bubbling, gurgling water with his toes. "Why'd ya take me away? I wasn't bein' bad."

Taking a deep breath I stuck my own feet in the cool water. "I know you weren't Antonello."

"Stop sayin' my big name. I'm not in trouble, I wasn't bad!" He kicked up a splash that sent water flying up my legs, wrapping his arms tighter across himself and slouching so that his shell loomed up around his neck. The darn scowl on his face was adorable. It was all I could do not to fold like a house of cards, and his mother surely would've.

"You're not in trouble Anton. It's just we've got to talk about some stuff and I want you to know it's important."

"Whatever," he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

_Little Shit, could you be any more like me?_

"I could tell you really liked that girl."

He shrugged.

"Anton, we just can't be seen by humans. It's not safe. They're scared of us and we don't want that. People do crazy stuff when they get scared."

"You mean when they don't understand."

I straightened up, "That's exactly what I mean. Who told ya that?"

Anton glared at the water and I noticed the set of his jaw shift, "Mommy."

For the first time in the past hour I smiled. Zoe was determined to protect his heart, to help him love despite the limits the world put on us. If she had her way she'd see Anton grow to be a better man than any human could hope to be.

"What do you think?" I asked, tossing another rock. It skimmed across the water making little splashes along the way.

"I don't think she cared what I look like."

Nodding, I handed him a couple of stones and cast another out over the water, "I don't think she did either. But her Mom and Dad, they may have been scared and you coulda been hurt by them."

He scoffed, "It's stupid."

"What's stupid?"

He gave a small stone a good launch, skipping it five times, and I admired the flick of his wrist. For a boy of four he already possessed a talent that made even Leo and me a little jealous.

"I can't have friends cas' I'm the only me and I'm scary to everybody. But I didn't do anything wrong. It don't make sense."

_If the fucking lump in my throat doesn't clear out I'm gonna throw it up._

"No, it doesn't and I'm sorry."

Anton turned to look at me, but when I glanced down at him he shifted his gaze back out over the water.

"You're brave Daddy."

 _This freakin kid, I swear._ My heart clenched, "How's that?"

"You save people even though they'd hurt you."

"Ah, Antonello, I don't want you to think all people are bad. Not all of them would hurt us. And before I met your Mom, I would never say this, but, chances are you'll even make friends with a few of them."

"Like that girl?" he skipped another stone and turned his head away from me.

"Maybe, but it's gonna be awhile Anton. You've got a lot to learn and we have to be careful. So do me a favor and no runnin' off after the first cute girl ya see anymore, okay?"

His head whipped around, "Cute? I never said she was cute!" He kicked the water excitedly with his feet, "Do you think she thought I was cute?"

I rubbed my hand over my face, "Well, this conversation just took an unexpected turn."

 


	4. Bedtime Story

_**Zoe** _

"Okay, you guys pick out your bedtime story," I announce, pointing to the spring green woven basket on the living room floor overflowing with children's books.

Michelangelo jumps off the couch and runs over to the basket.

"Really Mike, your 28 years old," Donnie shakes his head as he reaches over and shuts off the television.

Raph hands out the flashlights.

Leo sits down on the mutli-colored oval rug in the children's play area of the living room, where Andrea is playing with blocks. She drops the red cardboard square and crawls into his lap.

Donnie sits down next to Leo and April next to Don.

Splinter chuckles watching Mike and Anton root through the books to find the ones they want. Karai helps the elderly rat to his spot, resting on a maroon cushion on the floor to my right. Then she sits down next to him.

"I'm not sure who the kid is over there." I smile and take my place in the center of the rug.

Raph drops a red beanbag on the floor behind me and plops down in it.

Exodus sits down on the other side of him.

Anton and Mike appear before me, their arms piled with books.

"Okay, guys I will read _one_ story for each of you and _one_ for Drea'." I smile and both Mike and Anton slump their shoulders and groan.

"Uncle Leo, can you help Andrea find the story she wants to hear, please?"

"We already made our pick." Leo announces handing me a copy of The Little Red Hen.

Everyone groans. Whoever is holding Andrea for story time gets to help her pick her story and somehow the pick always reflects the spirit of the holder.

"Again Leo?" Raph snaps.

"It's his favorite, that, The Little Engine That Could, and Stone Soup." Karai laughs.

"I thought Drea' was pickin.'" Raph grumbled.

"Raphael would you like me to read The Grouchy Ladybug or Ferdinand for you tonight?" I say in my sweetest voice.

"That ain't what I'd pick," Raph shrugs.

"No, those are _my_ picks for you."

He rolls his eyes.

Anton hands me one of our countless Franklin the Turtle stories. He doesn't care which one it is, he just loves Franklin. Tonight he has chosen Franklin and The Radio.

Mike gives me Pete the Cat and His Magic Sunglasses. We all love Pete the Cat and no one complains.

Mike shuts off the lights and takes his spot next to Exodus, and Anton snuggles up to my side so he can see the pictures. Everyone who wants to turns on their flashlight.

I read The Little Red Hen and Pete the Cat First. Then I read Anton's Franklin story. When it's over and I close the book, he takes it from me and opens the page to show me Franklin's family.

"Mommy, why do you and Drea' look different than me and Daddy? Franklin's mommy and sister look like him."

I can feel Raph stiffen behind me. I think everyone is holding their breath. We want to be honest with him but also on his level.

"We talked about this yesterday. Our family is different and there's nothing wrong with that." I look in his eyes and see a flicker of sadness cross his sweet face. "Is something bothering you Anton?"

"Why did Drea' get to go to the store with Aunt Karai and I had to stay home?"

"Aunt Karai wasn't supposed to take Drea' anywhere but she didn't have a choice. You were sick and Sofu stayed with you. Aunt Karai went to get you popsicles and ginger-ale, and since me and Daddy and everyone else were away training, there was no one to watch Drea'."

"What if Drea' was sick and I wasn't. Could I go then?"

I swallowed. "Anton, Aunt Exodus and I don't like to go to the store, if we can help it."

Anton didn't like to look vulnerable anymore than his dad did. I watched as a veil dropped over his face, his sadness replaced with anger. Anton's nostrils flared, he threw down his book and bared his teeth at me, "And why not?"

"Whoa, we're goin ta talk about your attitude," Raph was on his feet and moving to snatch Anton up.

"Wait- Raph," I raised a hand to stop him and looked evenly in Anton's crystal green eyes. "Anton there is no one else in the world like you. Daddy and your uncles are not even, exactly like you. You are very special and we love you." I reached out and touched his cheek, wiped away a stray tear from his eye and pulled him to me. I scooped him up, looked at Raph and mouthed, _he's tired_.

Raph nodded and took him from me, "Tell everyone good night Buddy and I'll tuck you in."

Anton wrapped his arms around Raph's neck and mumbled, "Gnight."

"I'll get Drea' and be up in a minute." I told him as I picked up the books and put them away.

We exchanged goodnight wishes to our family members and Raph carried Anton upstairs. Leo brought a sleeping Andrea over to me. "You handled it well Zoe."

"I worry for him Leo. He doesn't have three brothers that look like him to help him through." I rubbed Andrea's back, "and he's confused as to why we look so different. Donnie tried to give him a high level explanation, but he's four." I close my eyes, "he's lonely for company his age that looks like he does and that doesn't exist."

Leo hugs me and kisses Drea' good night. "One day at a time Zoe, we'll get through this like we do everything else, as a family."


	5. Knots & Plastic Weapons

_**Zoe** _

"Anton untie your sister!" I'm trying to empty the dishwasher. It's every time I try to do something. It's every time I have to rotate laundry, make breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner and heaven forbid I have to pee. "Untie her! Do not- no!"

There's a squabble of pink human flesh and green turtle flesh rolling around on the floor and my daughter is tied at the hands and ankles with shoelaces. I look at the knots. "MICHELANGELO! I told you _not_ to teach him how to tie knots and _this_ is why!"

Mike looks up from where he is digging around in the fridge and grins with pride.

"What's going on?" Raph asks as he steps through the back door. He looks over at me, as I try to pry the two kids apart, at the same time struggling with the knot.

"Anton, get off her. Do not do this again." I groan. Knots are _not_ my specialty.

"You're going to end up in the ha-shi." Raph growls at Anton, reaching over and scooping Andrea up into his massive arms. He unties her easily and she stops crying to cuddle herself up against his shoulder.

I glare in the direction of the fridge and Mike steps up. "Nah don't do that Bro, it was my fault. I was teaching him how to tie knots earlier."

Raph glares at his baby brother, "Mike I oughta-"

"Raph," I say sweetly.

He looks at me and I glance sideways at our ever watchful son. Anton's big green eyes are hanging on his father's every word. Raph sighs. "C'mon we'll practice katas out back." He crosses the room and pecks me on the cheek, "I'll keep'em busy while you finish up whatever it is your doin."

"Take Mikey with you," I grin, looking at our orange clad troublemaker.

Mike's eyes widen and he mouths the word, "Traitor."

_**Zoe** _

"Andrea, stop waving that sword around your going to hit your brother!" It's only a plastic play sword, perfect for a young ninja. NOT! I swear I love Mike but there's a reason we have a kata only rule for the little ones. He brought home two plastic katana and a set of plastic sai today and all afternoon I've done this. Referee.

Raph and I are emptying the dishwasher and prepping dinner. He just came inside from a workout and stepped right alongside me like he'd been there all along.

"Mommmyyyyy! She hit me in the eye!" Anton is sobbing and calling me from the play area. He's such a mama's boy. I won't apologize for it. He's my firstborn and I think I go easy on him, especially since his father's a little tough on him at times.

I glance in the play area in time to see young ninja moves in action. Anton throws a plastic sai past my head smacking Raph in the shoulder and it bounces off of him. "MOMMMY! Do something about it!" Anton hissed at me his eyes flinty and his nostrils flaring.

"Antonello you do not throw anything at me or anyone else, ever!" I scold my son and look in the direction of my soul mate… who has swollen in size, not good.

Raph looks down at the plastic toy weapon on the floor and growls. "GGGGRRRRR MIKEY!"

He moves toward the playroom and I follow a few steps behind him. We find Anton has disarmed his sister of her katana and is now whacking her with it. Andrea is screaming as I scoop her up, at the same time Raph confiscates Anton's katana, throwing it on the floor then making his way toward the living room.

I hear the front door open and Karai yelling, "Where ya going so fast Mike?" Echoed by the sounds of her devious snicker.

 


	6. You

**Love Me Like You Do**

Fading in, fading out

On the edge of paradise

Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've got to find

Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire

~Ellie Goulding~

**Zoe**

"So who'd you ask to watch the kids?" Raph asked handing me a helmet.

I slipped the tight-fitting black head cover on, snapping the strap under my chin, before slipping one leg over the back of Raph's newest toy, a gorgeous metallic black bike, courtesy of one Hamato Donatello.

"Mikey."

Raph snorted, "Right, so who'd you get to watch the kids?"

"Mikey."

Raph looked over his shoulder, "Right, so-"

"Oh, stop! He'll do fine." I smacked the back of his shell.

"I hope the house is still standing when we get home." Raph grumbled, before starting the bike.

"Don't drive like a maniac or it won't matter." I retorted, grateful for the sound filtering headsets Donnie had equipped us with.

Raph laughed, popping the clutch and whipping us down the driveway kicking up dirt and gravel.

It was a two hour ride to the city and the perfect night for it. Well, it was supposed to take two hours, but with the way my hothead drove this bike, it may very well be a damn hour. I shifted to get comfortable, running my hands up under one of only two pieces of human clothing he'd ever agree to wear, a black leather motorcycle jacket, and the other was the ripped blue jeans now covering his legs. My fingers searched for the spot I was looking for, the only slightly forgiving flesh on Raphael, and even it was taut with muscle, the sensitive flesh between his bridge and carapace. I stroked lightly with the tips of my fingers, commanding his attention, and he wiggled trying to ignore me.

Grinning, I lightened my touch a little more and he slowed the bike a bit, hissing. "Do you want somethin'?"

I giggled, continuing my mischievous work, now dragging my fingers in lighter strokes at further lengths, closer up under his arms, another ticklish spot.

"Stop it Zoe, I'll wreck and kill us both." He growled.

"Well, it got you to slow down. Are you in a hurry?"

He reached inside the jacket and lightly stroked my palm, creating an electric current that spread out to my fingertips bouncing back and racing up my arm before branching out, shooting straight to my belly. The stroking turned into a rub and the tingle bolted from my belly further south.

"Am I in a hurry to get you to the lair, and have you and it all to myself for the weekend? Hell yes." His voice alone was like a drug I could never get enough of. Shit _he_ was my fix.

I hummed and a rumble escaped him as he squeezed my hand before letting it go and yet again we were flying down the highway.

Lifting my chin and resting the side of my helmet against his jacketed shell, I watched the stars racing by in blurry luminescent streaks against the backdrop of a moonless sky. My gaze drifted out to the giant white pines looming on either side of us and I watched them slowly drift further back from the road as we left the countryside.

As expected the ride took about an hour and a half. The blur of city lights greeted us, smog covered skyline, wailing sirens, horns blaring, car alarms and all. Raph parked the bike in the garage entry of the lair and I hopped off eager to stretch my legs.

"So, what do you want to do first?" I grinned, tugging the helmet off and tossing it to him.

"You." He raised his eye ridges, snatching the helmet from the air and hanging it opposite his own on the bike.

"You're a funny guy." I tilt my chin, flashing him my bedroom eyes paired with a clever smirk.

"How's that funny?" He studied the length of my body.

Sauntering up to him, I stopped to play with his jacket, rubbing the soft leather between my fingers and standing on tiptoe to breathe him in. That sweet scent hit me like an aphrodisiac and knowing what we came here to do didn't help. "I thought we could go out a while."

He peeled away my red windbreaker exposing my black sports bra beneath it. "Where's your shirt?"

I shrugged, "I have a few in your room."

"Don't be out walkin' around with no shirt Z. You know I hate that."

I pressed my lips together and flashed him a challenging look. "You'll get over it."

He growled, snatching me up and flipping me over his shoulder, "Wrong answer, _Miss I'll get over it._ " He marched in the lair and I hung over his shoulder letting him think I'd surrendered. Right as he turned for the stairs to his room I slid two fingers into the crook of his jaw and pressed.

"Ow, shit Zoe!" He tossed me off of him and I landed on my feet like a cat, laughing.

"It ain't funny! What the hell?" He complained rubbing the attacked area and scowling at me.

Turning my back on him I stopped halfway to the dojo, looked over my shoulder, grabbed the edges of my waistband and inched my pants a little lower on my hips exposing my thong. "You want me Big Guy, fight me for it."

A roar escaped him and he sprang forward after me.

I squealed, bolting for the dojo but not turning on the lights. In the pitch of a windowless room he stepped through the doorway, and I stood in the corner right behind him. Knowing I couldn't really hide, because we were bound to one another and he was like electricity to me and I fuel to his ever burning flame, I leapt for his shell and he whipped around snatching me from the air the way he loves to do. Our mouths crashed against each other with the ferocity that two hours worth of road trip foreplay had built up.

Breaking free of his wondering hands, I slid my pants the rest of the way down, kicked them up to my hand and flung them aside before turning and walking back out the door.

"Hey!" He called after me in protest. "I thought there was a fight happenin' here!"

I giggled again, peeking in the doorway, grinning and waving at him with his sai.

"What the hell? When'd ya pull that off?" He reached around his utility belt and found that I'd disarmed him.

"Keep up Raphael." I taunted, before darting off.

"I'll show you keeping up!" I heard him yell after me.

I dropped one of his weapons halfway to the stairs and another midway up then I tugged off my bra and dropped it outside his bedroom door. Slipping into his room in nothing more than my thong, I pulled the rubber band from my hair, letting my long wavy red locks slide down my back. He was standing in the doorway, I could feel him as sure as my hearts beat. Stepping over to his dresser in the faint light provided by the living area, I picked up the Zippo I'd had since before we'd met and lit the last of my honeysuckle candles.

His fingers brushed the hair back from my neck and he lowered his lips against my skin, sending a thrill straight through me. Feeling the heat of his breath against my ear, my eyes shut and I dropped the lighter.

"You sure you want to do this?" he whispered and I felt my heart jerk.

"Are you?"

Skilled hands traced my shoulder, slipping down my arm, and reaching for my hand before guiding me around to face him.

"We keep going back to this, we keep talking about it." His green eyes searched me for any hint of hesitation.

"I know. Threes a lot, but I'm willing to do it for him."

"Me too," he flashed me a grin that would surely be the death of me. "We've just never done this on purpose before."

Laughing, I stepped closer to him, my breasts mashing against his plastron as I reached for his face and he met me halfway, his lips wrapping around my own, his tongue already searching for mine and me eagerly replying.

I tugged on the opening of his jacket, "You haven't been keeping up, look at this you have on more than I do. We have to get rid of this jacket." Holding on to it, I pulled him along with me as I stepped up on his bed, turning so I could reach him better, "Then I'm sure we have elbow pads," as I released his jacket, he slipped it off and went to work on his elbow pads. Then I pointed to his jeans. "There's just so much going on here, Big Guy." I shook my head and he discarded the denims and then his knee pads. I hummed, wrapping my arms around his neck and briefly biting into his shoulder, "That's better, but there's one more thing…" I licked his rough, salty skin and looked into his spring green eyes.

"What?"

Reaching up behind his head I untied his mask, and at the same time he wrapped his fingers around the strings of my thong. I held the fraying scarlet fabric clenched in my fist as his lips met mine, his tongue sweeping my mouth at the same time tearing my underwear out of his way. I managed to growl in protest of his behavior, but he only chuckled and slid a finger into my opening, causing me to gasp at the same time my knees buckled. He lowered me to his bed, atop our favorite red blanket, and with his finger sliding, I writhed, fully believing I would lose my mind, until his mouth ventured down in search of my breasts. Then he nibbled my ribs and sank lower still, planting his mouth against my folds, his tongue dragging and darting as he continued sinking in his finger, delving it in and out at the same time. I arched my back in protest as he withdrew his hand and mouth leaving me a whimpering mess.

"Please," I begged as he slipped his length inside me, so slowly that he hissed against his teeth desperate to control himself. As he, pressed his body against mine I felt tears wet my eyes, then he began to move in slow exquisite thrusts.

"Raph," His name was barely audible on my lips as I pushed myself closer to him, eager to mold myself to him.

A low growl escaped him as he nuzzled my neck right before I felt his mouth part. I braced for his teeth just as his jaw latched down on my shoulder and his thrusting quickened. As he picked up a rhythm that left my mind reeling and my body singing, I reached for something to hold onto and became vaguely aware that I could feel fabric and fingernails digging into my palm.

Abruptly he released his hold on my shoulder dragging his tongue across the wound and seeking my mouth again. Tasting the copper of my blood on his lips sparked a desire within me to be closer to him still, and as if knowing my every want, he thrust harder.

"Raph," I pleaded, looking in his eyes, and he grinned before slowing himself to a wickedly delicious pace. "So mean," I whimpered against his lips as he pressed his mouth against mine.

I felt him pull back from within me so that only the tip of him penetrated, then his mouth left mine, to kiss my neck before he pressed his lips against my ear. "Are you sure?"

A lump rose in my throat, for the music that was the sound of his voice struck chords within me and his words tore at my heart.

"I am if you are." I replied, lifting my hips to draw him back in.

We pushed against one another and I felt his hands reach up to intertwine with my own. A scrap piece of fabric still somehow woven among my fingers was now tangled around his too. His mouth against mine, his tongue searching, mine reaching, then he shifted his hips and a jolt ran through me leaving me gasping with his every thrust, my heels flew up around his shell, my hips bucking against the delicious torturous friction that left every ounce of me squeezing him so tight I thought surely we had finally become one being. He shifted both of my hands into one of his own, gripping them tight, while using his free hand to pull my hips hard against him, and with one last reach, deep within me, I felt his release.

As his body retreated from within mine he groaned and held me tighter still, pressing his mouth against my lips and I felt a familiar wetness brush my cheek as he turned his head. I wasn't sure if the tears were mine or his, or maybe both, but I didn't care. The places we reached within each other were powerful and I would never take them for granted. I kissed him back and he released his hold on my hands, wrapping his fingers around the one holding the fabric. He lowered it to where we could both see and coaxed my fist open, "What're you holdin' on to?"

More tears slid down my cheeks as I gazed in his eyes, opening my hand like a flower blooming to reveal his mask, "You."


	7. Big Picture

**Zoe**

When we stepped through the front door I could hear Andrea's giggles and Anton's taunting of his uncle. With my first step I was ankle deep in toys, baby dolls, ponies, colorful bears with emblems sewn on their tummies, action figures, cars, costumes. Anywhere I looked there were toys. My eyes travelled up the walls to the chandelier were a stuffed bear was strung up under its arms with Michelangelo's mask.

"Oh my God," I yelped, wading through the mess, following the sounds of hysteria coming from the playroom. The sea was never ending.

_I didn't even know we had this many toys._

"I told you so." Raph grumbled, following me.

The play area held a turned over children's table and chairs, a mess of giant blocks, and a train track that actually seemed to have been planned out to circle the room, although two dripping sippy cups rode the locomotive and freight cars around. And from the trail of purple staining the floor they contained grape juice. Not to mention that it looked like someone had taken the popcorn maker and fired it around the room. In the middle of it all was Michelangelo, bound at the hands and feet. _Are those electrical cords?_ _Where'd they get electrical cords? God, tell me they haven't been in Donnie's lab!_ Andrea bounced on Mike's head and Anton was jumping up and down on his uncle's shell.

"Jesus Mike, what happened?" I rubbed my face, taking it all in.

_This was only two kids._

I eyed the naked faced nunchuk master, bound and subdued by two small children, wide fair blue eyes begging for mercy.

_Well, I guess two kids, was debatable._

Mikey whimpered, "Help?"

"Idiot," Raph grumbled.

"Raph," I frowned at my scowling mate then glared at Antonello, who immediately jumped off his uncle.

"Umpf," Mikey grunted.

Raph looked at me, the mess, his tied up brother with Andrea still bouncing on his head, then back to me, "What did we just do?"

"Big picture. Just keep telling yourself, big picture." I closed my eyes, "Big picture…"

 


End file.
